Book Review:The Art of Verbal Self-Defense

How-To: Deal with Bubble-Bursting Joy-Suckers

Regardless of whether it is done in the name of honesty or providing a dose of much-needed reality to the unsuspecting party, dishing out criticism–and being the target–is equally difficult. Yeah. Yuck. Criticism overload can be completely crippling sometimes. Absolutely devastating.

And I can’t seem to locate a window to let the something said blow out as gracefully as it blew in.

Best described as a discreetly veiled indirect criticism of my choice to do ‘the big thing’, the offending remarks were (I suspect) meant merely as precaution. And it was only until this last week that I began to notice unusual patterns–outright refusal to discuss ‘the big thing’ with friends, sluggish body language, a persistently wonky sleep schedule which kept me cranky–old habits that  know they on their way out. For good. Which is awesome, except that I have not dealt with their extended absence just yet and occasionally invite them in and they, well, throw a party and leave a terrible mess for me to clean up.

Point is: Everyone criticizes. And everyone is criticized. Thankfully, Suzette Elgin, genius and communications demi-god has written the  Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense series. A road map through the minefields of verbal attack patterns, semantics and mouth malpractice, she illustrates with fully dramatized scenarios that help the reader to recognize how to communicate quickly, competently, straightforwardly and, as my recent scenario would suggest, more sensitively, with others.

Great tactics for verbally outwitting pretty much anyone, but — more importantly — it’s a way to practice consciously taking care of yourself so that confrontations are rare and there is no loss of face on either side of the interaction.

Just writing about her makes me feel better already.